Recently I'm addicted to certain types ASMR videos. Not the typical ASMR of eating, whispering, or objects rubbing sounds. I use them as white noise, ambiance sound, or background music almost all day now that I stay at home most of the time working or studying.
My favorite begins with fire crackling sound. At first I listened to Spotify fire crackling songs while meditating. Then I discovered a built-in app in Apple TV for just this sound with a flame screen saver video. Then I found there were a lot on YouTube with HD quality for hours.
That originally brought me further to fireplace with snowing background, usually in high quality indoor setting, perfect to glance upon in this winter weather and brighting up the room.
And then, I liked matching these videos to the weather, so some raining videos were discovered. At this point, I started to play cafe videos with typical coffee shop music. Now that coffee shops are closed, I do miss this vibe.
My company announced leadership changes, 4 days before a total solar eclipse... Not at all a coincident.
Our new CEO-to-be commented: "This is my last promotion. No more promotion for me."
Some words from our current CEO were noteworthy:
We always have a plan for everything.
We need to understand what the brief is, what actions to take, and then execute [on 2021].
As you go higher in the company, you do less work and rely more on others to do the work for you.
While I certainly will miss the current CEO, I'm more of a fan of the CEO-to-be, whose sense of humor and simple words have won me over since 4 years ago.
This and many other events have allowed me to peek into how a large corporation works.
After the great mutation, I'm hopeful for 2021, a new year, new era. Changes are good.
Since quarantine in March, I've came across some movies about coronavirus, virus, or pandemic in general. It's alarmingly realistic the way these movies dipict the spread (or the concept) of a contagious disease, as if they predited 2020's coronavirus outbreak.
Contagion (2011) is a movie inspired by the 2002 SARS-CoV-2 in China, the predecessor of COVID-19. The story began in Hong Kong and the cause of the bat-originated virus was due to human exploitation of remote forest. WHO in Geneva is involved here.
It's interesting to watch this doctor re-watching Contagion in the context of this year. Also interesting to see in this film is CNN chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta, who now appear on TV often.
And a word on COVID-19, this is a wildlife price list (menu) from a vendor in Wuhan seafood market.
Inferno (2016) is one of the Robert Langdon series (why did I come to know about it only in 2020...). It's basically a non-superpower version of Thanos trying to wipe out human population for the sake of human survival on earth. WHO is also involved.
This image of "Map of Hell" illustrated by Botticelli is fascinating, if you're a lover of Divine Comedy.
The filming location, Basilica Cistern, in my opinion, is the most beautiful tourist attraction in Instabul, which I visited in 2017. Great to tour Florence and Venice with the characters during this quarantine time.
Pandemic: How to Prevent an Outbreak (2020) was dropped in January 2020, almost prophetic when COVID-19 was just about to break out. Later in April came Coronavirus, Explained (2020), another docuseries to understand what's going on now. Some video clips here are from last year's series, Inside Bill's Brain (2019).
年初還沒多少人知道冠狀病毒的時候，Netflix推出了迷你影集Pandemic: How to Prevent an Outbreak (2020)，現在看來真是神時間點。四月推出了另一部影集Coronavirus, Explained (2020)，其中有些是從去年的比爾蓋茲影集 Inside Bill's Brain (2019) 剪來的片段。
（中文在後面） These days I've been keen to write something, but then I thought, why would it matter? My words are going to be buried in gazillions of pages anyway. Yet I really have something to share. A few things. If there's any one action taken by someone who see my words, then my opinion would finally manifest its destiny. The first thing I'd like to share is podcast I've been listening to since the quarantine. I usually finish 1 episode during shower. 1. Scott Galloway The Prof G Show with Scott Galloway (2020) A Conversation with Scott Galloway (2016) Usually an episode is 1 hour and includes a monologue, an interview with a guest, office hours Q&A, and the algebra of happiness. I've been following Professor Galloway (Stern, NYU) since my grad school years in Boston. He's a genius, funny, full of content. There are only 3 episodes in his 2016 series. His new show was launched in March 2020 - new episode every Thursday. In addition to marketing topics, business predictions (winners & losers), and the "Big Four" tech giants (Google, Amazon, Facebook, and Apple), he recently talks a lot about higher edution (higher ed) reform in this podcast and on CNN with Anderson Cooper. 2. Sam Harris Making Sense with Sam Harris While the full episode is exclusive for paid members, the free episode already shares a majority (often 1 hour) of content. I came to know Sam Harris through episode 10 on The Prof G Show. His extremely calm voice and manner and the depth of his words prompted me to start listening. Sam Harris is a philosopher and author. His audience are likely white elite middle to upper class in the US. This is implicitly reflected in his content. Usually an episode includes his conversation with a guest or, occasionally, his monologue. His conversation is not conversational - meaning usually he and his guest talk in paragraphs with words you read in books but not talk in a chat. This challenges me to be focused so I can follow his thoughts. It's like listening to a philosopher - well, he is a philosopher. The topics discussed are deep, including social economic issues, philosophical debates, reflection on current affairs, and more. His thinking, through the conversation, examines aspects of a topic, which really broadens my view of the topics. I'm amazed by how he manages an interview (episode 212) with someone (a professor) whose publication critizes one of his episodes. 3. The Documentary Podcast by BBC World Service Each episode is about 30 minutes on a variety of topics and consists interviews or personal stories in different parts of the world. I selectively listen to episodes which interest me. For example, Covid-19, life in quarantine, traveling, and a recent episode "DNA and me" published on July 14th. 4. Before Midnight
Language: Mandarin Chinese
A philosophical conversation between two young men in Taiwan, exploring various topics/aspects through their own life experiences. It's deep, healing, sometimes like a therapist session. I admire their courage to reveal this level of deep truth about themselves. Highly recommended.
5. William Wei (WeiBird) 韋禮安跟你鳥鳥天 Season 01 Language: Mandarin Chinese WeiBirs is a Taiwanese singer-songwriter. He went to the same department as me at university - we're 1 year apart. He began this podcast also in March 2020 - mostly interviews with music industry influencers in Taiwan.
_________________________________________________________________________________ 今年一直很想重新寫文章，但一直拖著。想寫的時候會反問自己，寫了有什麼用？也不過是網路上千萬網站裡又一張網頁而已。 可是有很多時候，很想紀錄什麼，很想跟這個世界分享什麼。如果有一個人因為看了我的文章而做了一個小改變，那我的思考就能真正活一次了。 首先寫最近聽的podcast，台灣好像翻成『播客』？其實就是非現場直播的廣播節目。從三月隔離開始聽一些廣播，通常邊洗澡邊聽剛好一集。 1. Scott Galloway The Prof G Show with Scott Galloway (2020) A Conversation with Scott Galloway (2016) 這位鼎鼎有名的紐約大學商學院教授新推出廣播節目。我從在波士頓念行銷研究所的時候就開始追他的YouTube。 通常一集有獨白、訪談一位來賓、問答時間、還有新的小橋段『快樂的方程式（？）』。一集約一小時。2020年的新節目從三月開始每週四出一集。2016年的舊節目只有三集。 一樣風趣幽默的內容，很適合練英文聽力。 除了一直以來的行銷、商業話題、科技四大龍頭（谷歌、亞馬遜、臉書、蘋果），他最近經常討論美國高等教育改革，還上CNN跟安德森酷伯聊這個。 2. Sam Harris Making Sense with Sam Harris 第十集The Prof G Show的來賓是Sam Harris，一位美國哲學家、作家、神經科學家。他的聲音非常平靜，講話很有內涵，我聽一集他自己的廣播節目就成了忠實聽眾。 一集通常一小時，全程訪問只有到他網站才能付費收聽，但一小時就非常充實。他和他的來賓深度討論話題的時候，通常講一句話可以講一分鐘以上才斷句，要非常專注才能跟得上他的思考，練英文聽力有難度，有些用字艱深（書裡才會出現的寫作用詞）我偶爾聽不懂。 他的話題非常硬，涵蓋社會經濟問題、哲學概念、時事分析，他通常從不同層面討論一個主題，我覺得對我的思考和價值觀有幫助。 他的聽眾大多是美國中高社會階級的白人（跟他一樣）。他的訪談方式跟氣度值得學習，第212集他訪問一位公開批評他某一集節目的教授，很難跟一個批評自己的人心平靜氣地討論一個困難的話題長達一個小時以上吧，他就做到了。 3. The Documentary Podcast by BBC World Service BBC世界的廣播節目，每集約30分鐘，話題多樣，通常是訪問世界各地的人，或是某個主講人的個人故事。因為集數非常多，我通常只挑有興趣的，像是冠狀病毒、隔離期間的生活、旅遊，最近有一集討論DNA很有趣（2020-07-14）。 4. Before Midnight
講到Ep.12，雖然今年的韓劇『雖然是精神病但沒關係』( It's Okay to not be Okay) 也引用心理學家阿德勒說：『幸運的人用童年治癒一生，不幸的人用一生治癒童年。』，我完全找不到這句話的英譯或出處。可能這是中文翻譯他的思想的概要，不是他直接說過的名言。這麼說來，這位不知名的譯者算是非常成功。
Most people by now would have watched the original videos of George Floyd and Christian Cooper - if not, they're available on YouTube and Twitter. It rendered me angry in tears to imagine what this man had been through in the last minutes of his life. In light of recent global awakening triggered by tragic events, I think it's ok taking a moment to have hard/heavy conversation about racism, plus these events have triggered me to remember several encounters which live at the back of my head.
This week I've been thinking about how to appropriately be a voice in support of erasing racism. I care for many causes but most strongly about human rights (a topic for another time). IMO racism is part of the wider human rights domain. While all lives matter, now is the time to focus on Black Lives Matter. Why? Because racism has long been in our lives, to all POC, major or minor racist behaviors. Now more than ever the lives and human dignity of the African Americans are in danger. I believe through advocating for them now, other causes (e.g. gender equality, LGBT, human rights) will as well benefit from its awareness and progress. All men and women should be treated equal. With way less racism weight on my shoulder than on the African-ethnic people, I hope sharing my own experiences as a normal Asian person can provide some perspective on this subject and support the movement we're seeing today. Racism is not just in the US. It's in all countries. Here in Switzerland, too.
As an Asian POC in the middle of the skin color spectrum, sometimes I receive racism treatment from both ends. Most of my non-Asian friends and people I encounter treat me fine - as in, I feel equal and respected. Most of the time I mind my own business and avoid causing problems/scense in any situation, subconsciously with the idea of trying to be safe at all times - also partially because afraid of leaving records that would jeopardize my visa, given I've lived as an expat in the US, Ireland, and Switzerland for 9 years.
I consider myself normal as any other person, I'm content with where I am in the society, and I'm grateful to where life has led me and the people I surround myself with. Putting aside the experiences with people who I know, I'd say experiences with strangers/people who I don't know can best encapsulate the racism treatments, because one's literally deciding how to interact with this person purely based on appearances, i.e. race, gender, language, outfit, etc. And in these situation, I don't want to victimize myself as in a stereo-type racism situ right away, so I always wonder: what if I was a man or a Caucasian, what if I was with a male companion, what if I spoke better English, what if I spoke French - would I have experienced what just happened to me?
So what happened? Below are some disturbing ones.
the middle-age Caucasian woman in Lavaux
the African-ethnic teenager who stoned my forehead, in Lausanne
my previous apartment concierge, a middle-age Caucasian woman, in Lausanne
the middle-age Caucasian man on Aer Lingus flight from Geneva to Dublin
the young Irish security check woman at Dublin Airport who took my slow response, at 5am, as a hesitated yes, to her question "any weapons in your luggage?"
the young/middle age Caucasian/Hispanic cleaning woman in the building next to my previous apartment who prevented me depositing a properly bagged trash, in Lausanne
the Irish taxi driver, my 1st encounter in Ireland, who scammed me, in cash, double the price of normal fare from Dublin Airport. I was with 2 large suitcases, he didn't help me load them in to the car.
the African-American man who hit a Caucasian man whose head then smashed the back of my head on a NYC subway
1.
In mid-March in Lavaux, Vaud, Switzerland, a time when China and Italy were heavily hit by coronavirus, and just before the Swiss government announced nationwide quarantine.
My Caucasian friends and I walked up some stairs by the vineyard. Two walked in front of me with a dog and two behind me. There was huge gap between each of us as we were tired so the total distance from the 1st person to the last person was about 10-15 meters. The stairs were about 1 meter in width, enough for 2 people to pass by with space inbetween.
A middle/elder-age Caucasian couple (man at front) walked down the stairs toward us from the opposite direction. The woman raised her jacket as a cover against me as she passed by me, only me, not before me, and not after me.
I should have called her out and saying "I'm not coronavirus" or something at her, but anything I said would sound stupid and make a scene, which I tried to avoid in any situation, plus she might not understand English. I just discussed with my friends what happened.
2.
It was after I landed from Geneva Airport back to Lausanne Gare seeing a Caucasian man helping a Caucasian mother getting off the train with a stroller that I thought how nice and friendly Lausanne is to live and to raise a family.
And then, as I walked home via an ally along the railway, someone stoned my way. Given it was evening, I didn't have sunglasses on and originally thought the stones were some insects, until a 4-cm big stone hit my forehead, which immediately swelled in a 5-cm-ish circle. It would have hit my eye in 1 degree away.
There were some African-ethnic teenagers giggling behind two windows in an apartment building. One of them threw the stones at me, for no reason, just for fun. I dragged my luggage and confronted one of the teenagers at the window. He kept saying in French it wasn't him. I waited at the gate, a Caucasian guy came out, I explained, he said "I can let you in if you'd like to find them, but don't get me involved." So I called the police.
The police went checking the house while taking my information. They proposed 2 possible solutions: 1) they will take the teenagers to court and they may get community service as penalty, but I'd need to be followed up and hence leave a record, or 2) they just went checking on the teenagers as a warning. Ofc I didn't want any issue for myself or any court records for the teenagers. It was about to pour so they asked me to go home. I didn’t hear from them since. Again, what if I was male/Caucasian?
3.
One or two weeks after I moved in to a previous apartment in Lausanne, I didn't fully cleaned up the air bubbles in one of the cardboard boxes before throwing them away in my apartment's trash collection carts. On the next day, 3 things appeared in front of my apartment door: 1) the cardboard box with my recipient label, 2) a car tire (not mine), 3) a toilet seat (not mine), and a note from my middle-age Caucasian concierge woman.
The note said I shouldn't dispose the air bubbles in the paper cart, and that there are trash regulations in Switzerland blah blah. Ofc I did all I could, I went to her, I called/emailed the management company, I called my lease agent, etc.
They remained there for more than one month.
These tire and toilet seat may belong to my neighbors who passed by my door or to anyone who threw them in my building's trash carts which were accessible to all.
One night I kept thinking about the what ifs: what if I was male/Caucasian and/or I spoke fluent French, would this woman treat me like this? Then I went to confront her that night. In 5 minutes, she came up and removed these things.
4.
When I boarded my Aer Lingus flight, the overhead luggage cabins near my seat around row 12 were full, except a space occupied by a plastic bag of the size of a laptop. A middle-age Caucasian couple sat in a 3-seat row: man at window seat, woman in the middle, behind this cabin I was cheking at. There was a full queue behind me.
The couple were looking at me as I looked for space to store my carry-on, so I asked them "is this plastic bag yours?" The man mumbled, so I thought it wasn't theirs. I moved the plastic bag to the side and, as I pulled my luggage up to the overhead level, he stood up and grabbed my arm and scolded me "don't touch my things" to prevent me from lodging my luggage.
I just replied to him "you don't need to touch me", and walked to the end of the plane with my luggage, and sat on a random empty seat after checking with some flight attendants.
Everyone watched, but didn't speak/act.
I fell asleep immediately, as I woke up 1 hour after, a flight attendant approached me to confirm what happened and said she already reported this passenger to the airline for the record. Afterwards, a middle-age Caucasian man, who was a witness, came to the back to check on me and said he reported the incident to the flight attendants.
I was grateful to him, and thought I should have acted differently, I should have stood up for myself to confront this man from the couple, but again I didn't want to cause a scene. There’s also news about people who caused delays/troubles in a plane being kicked out, and I couldn’t afford that because I had to catch that flight. I as many Asians would probably do the same again - just said minimal and walked away.
Again I kept thinking, what if I was man/Caucasian, or what if I was traveling with a male companion, would this man treat me this way?
I asked the flight attendant only one question: is he Irish? She said no. Another day for topic Ireland.
Too much to say about 5. 6. 7. let's skip them for another time.
8.
I'm forever grateful to people offered to help after I posted a photo in 2015.
An African-American man hit a Caucasian man, whose head then smashed the back of my head, on a northbound NYC subway, just before entering Grand Central. The African American man did so because he considered the Caucasian man, who stood in front of him, was too close to him, in a crowded evening-commute-time express subway cabin which was shaking in high speed. This was purely an accident to me, I was shocked, hurt, scared then.
The immediate aftermath was that I recovered feeling normal a few days after. My head didn't have any issue.
And then, in the end 2017, I discovered a new 4cm-ish bump on my head, couldn't recall any accident/injury, thought it was a tumor, went to a doctor and was told: your head can grow anything it'd like. As tumors should be inside the head, rather than outside, I didn't investigate further.
It wasn't untill the end of 2019 I found the medical cert of injury, that I realized how the bump developed.
When I look at these individual encounters separately, it seems random and minor, in addition to many other encounters on the street when someone just taunted me by saying “ching chong chang” or something alike. One may argue whether it's racism or gender discrimination or something else. When I put them together, however, and they are my real life experiences, not fictional stories, they speak volume of collective racist/discrimination experiences to me. Yet I'm already a fortunate person who can make it where I'm today, given my background. I'm ok now and have become resilient through these experiences. While I don't forget these, I don't remember / recall them often. I feel safe most of the time and have hopes on humanity as most people are normal for most of the time.
What's next then, what can we individuals do? The usual: raise awareness, talk about it, donate, sign up petitions. I believe what happens/progress made in the US have ripple effect in other countries in the development of diversity and inclusion.
